Terminal
by poxyTraitors
Summary: Reid's dying and there's nothing I can do...
1. Just Chop it Off

I don't own anything

Well I guess it's time for me to contribute to this fandom rather than just reading.

This will be dark, that is my style.

Sorry if that's not for you. I can only please a few.

Review... Good or bad, I can take it.

It's from Hotch's POV.

My proof reading is atrocious, so I've gone back and corrected.

* * *

I pick my files up off my desk and shuffle them together. Titles pass my eyes and I sigh; murder, suicide, rape, abduction... the list goes on. I leave them at the end of my desk and rub my face. Just when you think you've done a good job another case rolls in, leaving a bloody trail behind it and demanding to be profiled.

There's a time when it gets too much. I think of Jack. The way he smiles. How he used to smile when Haley kissed him goodnight. Haley... I sigh as her face fills my mind. All in the name of the job, I think and I fill my briefcase a little too roughly. I grab it and march out of my office, shutting it quietly behind me.

The bullpen is empty. I cross it and notice that Spencer left his light on. I shrug this off and hurry to the door but the sound of retching stops me. I glance around and my eyes catch the men's washroom.

I'm tempted to leave, but I'm the boss, it is my job to look out for the welfare of other agents, whether they are mine or not. Unless it's the janitor, I think. I am not cleaning up _his_ puke. With a sigh I trudge to the restroom and push the door open. As I do the sound of heaving grows louder. I see a pair of converse sticking out of the cubicle.

"Reid?"

A harsh retching sound answers me and I rush over to the kid. His head is stuck down the toilet as he vomits. I kneel beside him and rub his back.

"H-Hotch," he murmurs, lifting his head to look at me before ducking and heaving again. After a few minutes of me rubbing his back, he finally sits back, but he closes his eye and leans back over the toilet.

"I'm sorry..." Spencer gasps, finally pulling his heads out of the toilet. I look at him seriously, keeping my brow low.

"Reid. What's going on?" I say, but it comes out as a demand as if he has no choice but to tell me. Why do I have to be a drill Sargent all the damn time.

"T-there's nothing you can do," he breaths and I feel my brow furrows more. "I wanted to tell you," he adds with a pleading look. He's pale; paler than normal... too pale.

"Reid-" I start but he's quick to interrupt me and I don't stop him.

"It's cancer," he states bluntly. I find myself at a loss for words. I open my mouth but nothing comes out. He fills the silence so I don't have to. "Stage 3."

"Take as much time as you need," I start and I can see Spence break out into a smile. "Your place will always be here when-"

His hand touches mine and I pause and look into his sad brown eyes.

"It's terminal, Hotch."

"We...I-" I flounder on my words. Terminal. That means incurable. I should know, it's what Mum died of. Stage 4 breast cancer.

 _"Can't you just chop it off?"_

 _"No, Mrs Hotchner," the doctor had gulped at her brutal way of phrasing it._

 _"Why not?"_

 _"It's in the bone now, ma'am."_

 _"So it's gonna kill me?"_

 _"I'm afraid it will in the end."_

Terminal. Like at an airport, where you do wait for your next flight; wait to go somewhere new. Is that where Reid was? Waiting in terminal: waiting for the plane that would take him to whatever's next.

"It's okay," Spencer mumbles with a weak smile.

"No, it's not," I snap, but I grow soft when he hangs his head sadly.

"What did I do wrong, Hotch?" He whimpers and I hear him sniff roughly. I feel my own eyes prickle.

"Nothing," I mutter and I pull him into an embrace.

"Then why me?"

"I-I don't know..."


	2. C2

I don't speak to Reid much after that. I keep my eye on him but I don't want to overwhelm him.

A case comes in and I gather the material needed for a conferencewith my team.

I head out onto the balcony and catch Morgan annoying Spencer.

"How much sugar is in that!?"

"I like it sweet," Reid mumbles. His voice sounds so sad to me and I feel my heart strain.

I watch carefully at the interaction. Waiting to assert my presence in case Morgan does something that will cause backlash.

"Not doubting that," Morgan chuckles and ruffles Reid's hair. I stare in horror as Morgan lifts his hand away and frowns at the hair caught in his fingers. Reid gasps and grabs at his head in embarrassment.

"Uh...pretty boy," Morgan mumbles as he lets the hair flutter to the ground. I feel my legs taking me down the stairs without my awareness.

"Morgan, don't," Reid hisses as he checks for any bald spots.

"What happened to your hair?"

The team is now looking at Reid and at the hair in Morgan's hands and I hurry over to Morgan and send him a glare in the hopes that he'll shut up.

Reid looks up at us, still clutching his head as his eyes fill with tears. He looks at me his face looks desperate as if he's asking for me to save him. But he's in the quicksand and I can't reach him as he slowly sinks away from me, away from us.

"Spence?" JJ starts as she stands from her chair.

Spencer wipes his eyes haphazardly and he grabs his bag.

"Reid Wait." I go to grab his arm and I shock myself with how thin his limbs are beneath his clothes and I find myself only partially grabbing his arm as he easily twists out of.

Reid rushes through the doors and goes straight for the stairs, the elevator would have led to an awkward moment with Reid pressing the button as I advanced. I step forward but Rossi stops me.

"What was that about?" Morgan asks to no one in particular and any humour in his voice has gone.

Rossi looks at me with a closed look.

"Aaron knows," he says, dropping me in the middle of this shit storm.

"Knows? Knows what?" Emily asks.

Garcia interrupts the interrogation by hurrying into the bull pen with a worried expression.

"What's wrong with Reid? He almost knocked me over when I tried to talk to him."

Her eyes caught sight of something and I follow them to Morgan's hand where Spencer's hair lies.

"You cut his hair?!" She cries. Morgan drops the hair and shakes his head.

"No, mama! I'd never do that-"

"Hotch knows something," JJ puts in suspiciously and once again all eyes are on me.

"I'm really confused," Derek says.

"Aaron."

Rossi pushes me for an answer and a close my eyes briefly.

"Spencer's not," I pause. "he's not well," I finish.

"How?" JJ asks, her voice raised in suspicion.

"Hair," Morgan stares at the floor. "He's been off his food. He's-" Morgan stops himself and looks to me for answers. I nod.

"He's what?" Garcia demands.

"Cancer," I say and I look back to where Spencer vanished from.


End file.
